More Important Lists

Reasons I’m not writing:

1. My dog is chewing on my laptop.
2. My baby is chewing on my laptop.
3. The skin on my knuckles is so dry that it cracks when I try to type.
4. My yard is covered in leaves, and while I haven’t actually raked them, I’ve dedicated a significant amount of time to thinking about how I ought to be raking them.
5. MAKING LISTS IS MORE FUN.

Reasons I am writing:

1. The world is dumb and stupid and scary, and sometimes writing is the only thing that makes sense.
2. I’m a kickass writer. (I am also, as you can see, quite modest.)
3. I have a lot going on in my head, and if I don’t write about it, my husband has to bear the brunt of my neuroses.
4. If I don’t meet the 50,000 word goal for NaNoWriMo, my students won’t respect me. (They may also jeer and/or throw things.)
5. I’m sick and tired of how insipid most children’s books are.

I want to read stories about stolen shopping carts, pillows covered in glitter, dogs wearing tutus, shampoo with magical properties, dilapidated boarding houses, and shifty glances between people who don’t like each other but share an uneasy respect.

So that’s what I’m writing.

Wish me luck.